As always, I am amazed
how the Lord provides us with the wisdom and instruction that we need, when we
need it. One time, I was frustrated with my honey, and my scriptures fell
open and I read "Love the husband of thy youth..." I have never found
that scripture since, but it came at the moment I needed it. Consequently,
this lesson did too. In the book, Drawing
Heaven into your Marriage, H. Wallace Goddard sent me a timely message
First
of all, I love this paragraph:
"In every
relationship there is an inevitable tension. It is often worse in
marriage than other relationships, in part because we share so much-money,
time, food, space-even our own bodies. Marriage is not only intense, but can
last for decades. As we are challenged to form our own little Zion, the natural
man resists. 'For the natural (spouse) is an enemy to God (and partner), and
has been from the fall of Adam, and will be forever and ever...'" (Mosiah
3:19) (pg.30)
My "natural woman" has been on the rampage this
week. It is interesting how one issue in our life has the ability to
cause conflict in so many other areas. "To become heavenly, we must
endure earthly challenges-including the unexpected ones in marriage."
(pg.34)These chapters were reassuring to me that everyone struggles at some time in their marriage, and that the suggestions these experts have made could help us in identifying our own issues. I love that Goddard said, "We can pause to beseech God to grant us grace, goodness, mercy, compassion, and patience. We can ask Father to help us see our partner and his or her struggles with the same loving-kindness with which He views them." (pg. 36) (And hopefully, they will do he same for us.)
Daniel Wile said, "Each potential relationship has its own particular set of problems... There is a value, when choosing a long-term partner, in realizing that you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unresolvable problems that you'll be grappling with for the next ten, twenty or fifty years." (Pg. 41) This reminds me of an experience that happened to a man I know. His wife was very controlling and often called him 10 times a day wondering where he was and whom he was with. She even called him in the middle of Bishop's meeting. Eventually, he ended up being unfaithful to her, and was excommunicated and subsequently, divorced. He married the other lady, and as he stood before the High Council to be reinstated back into the church he said, "I love my wife. But, the truth of the matter is; we still fight over money, we still argue about our issues, we still have disagreements like my first wife and I did except the topics are different. The only thing that is not the same is I am raising her children, and someone else is raising mine." I really learned from this experience, that contrary to what the Country Western songs say, there is not a "one and only". You will still have problems, just a different variety. This has always been a reminder to me to "stay the course."
Under Mapping the Future, we are reminded we have to rely on the Lord and his Atonement. "Try as we might, we won't do it perfectly right away. We will be distracted by ego, tripped by pride, snared by temper, or sidetracked by pain." (pg. 44) That is when we reevaluate, and start again. I have never considered asking my husband for patience with me as I learn to do better, have you? (This is Pride!)
All in all, I really enjoyed this lesson and what it taught me. I am grateful for Heavenly Father, and that he is aware of me and my needs. I am thankful for a living church that has Prophets and Apostles who share their wisdom and inspiration with us. This makes mapping so much easier to do when we are trying to take the teachings of the church and instill them in our marriage.
I love this book by
H. Wallace Goddard because it teaches facts backed up by doctrine.
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