"Make Not a Beggar of Thy Mate"

This post is talking about a relationship model that can define whether your feelings towards an individual are a good foundation for a relationship. I really liked the Ram plan, but found myself thinking, “I’m glad my husband didn’t take that test or he probably wouldn’t have married me!  Too late to do the right thing now!!  Ha!  

Looking at the Relationship Attachment Model, I really did find myself plugging my husband and my courtship into the slots.  We only knew each other three months before we got engaged.  We dated quite a bit, but often talk about how it was a good thing neither of us had any deep, dark skeletons in our closets.  I do feel like we had one aspect that was not covered in the RAM model, and that is revelation.  We fasted and prayed when we were considering our engagement, and the answer I got was undeniable.  It wasn’t your typical “He is your knight in shining armor and you will never have another problem in your life!”  It said “It’s the right thing to do, but you will never feel this good about it again, so remember this feeling.”  It was 5:00am and I literally looked behind me to see who was talking to me.  I have often heard that quote come back to me in my 38.8 years of marriage and it has kept me from doing some drastic things, like jumping ship when things got hard!

I did trust my husband, because he did not ever try to overstep any boundaries like other boys had. He always treated me with respect and kept his distance morally.  This trust has deepened as we have been married in the fact that I feel like I can tell him anything, even my immaturities and insecurities, and he never uses them against me or makes fun of me for them. (Ok-sometimes he does!)

Because of this, I rely on him in many areas to help me keep perspective in my life.  I trust him to tell me the truth without hurting me.  The level of our commitment has deepened with time.  This, in turn has increased our level of touch.  I remember a quote that struck home with me, it said “Make not a beggar of thy mate.”  It really hit home to me because our mates should never have to beg for our time, trust, the ability to rely on us, our commitment or our touch.
                                         

 I think this model is really a good theory to developing a healthy relationship.