Poulson's Potato Patch

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Socialization

This week in my Family Advocacy class, we have been studying about socialization. Socialization is all of the experiences we have in our lives that shape us into whom we have become. They can be positive or negative, life changing or inconsequential. But all of them add up to the sum total of whom you are and whom you can become. Think about what you think has shaped you into you!

For instance, do you have your mother's eyes?

We are a product of our genetics and our life experiences. That is well and good for all of us who grew up in fairly normal homes. (I say "fairly" normal as what fun would life be without some dys-'fun'ction, right?) So how do we accept what socialization has done to and for us? If your life experiences have been positive, then you accept them as positive influences. But if they aren't, are we just subjected to their influence, unable to undo what we have become? I say "No!" We are not destined to stay as we are if we have a desire to change! We have the Atonement of Jesus Christ to influence us for good.

(See youtube clip "Following Jesus" in the blog below)

We can find peace and serenity in this life.

Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can feel close to our Heavenly Father,

And where once the world seemed dark and dreary,
the light will break through.

We were not sent here to be victims, but to overcome the challenges and trials that life has put in our way. We will be able to become what the Lord knows we can be. The effects/affects of socialization cannot be permanent when we have faith in our Savior. Life is good and I am blessed!

Following God

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

"Neither is the Man without the Woman, nor the Woman without the man, in the Lord" 1 Corinthians 11:11

Journal LO2 Elder Christofferson

While reading, take notes of the sections that most leave an impression on you and write down answers to the following questions in your journal:

§ What doctrines did Elder Christofferson share that explain why marriage is between a man and woman?

In 1 Corintians 11:11 it says; “Neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man, in the Lord.” This scripture was on my marriage announcement and I truly believed it! Today, a telemarketer called me on the phone and said: “Is the head of the house there?” I said: “There is no head of the house here, we are just husband and wife and are both the head.” I am sure he was less than impressed.

After reading Elder Christofferson’s talk,

I reiterate the same thought. In Heavenly Father’s plan, a man and a woman are meant to form the head of a marriage partnership, and then be sure to add in Heavenly Father’s presence, as Dietrich Bonhoeffer stated. In the Proclamation, the full purpose of marriage and families were outlined and all answers can be found within the words of that great article.

The Father’s plan needed several aspects to be fulfilled.

One, the earth needed to be formed for man to inhabit it.

Marriage Class-Final Appreciation Blog

This has been an interesting class for me to participate in this semester. It has been the only class that I have received a "B" in in these past 3 years of college. How does that make me feel as a wife? Still, I have learned a lot and appreciated that.

Looking over the transitions in life, no wonder there are so many feelings and emotions that go with them. Still, I would never want to not be married. I like that it implies that the greatest lessons that will help us develop in to God-like people are learned within the walls of a home and from a family. I love my husband and my children. They have brought me such joy in this life. They are good people and I am proud of them and have learned so much from them.

I love this quote:
“There seems to be a superstition among many thousands of our young [men and women] who hold hands and smooch in the drive-ins that marriage is a cottage surrounded by perpetual hollyhocks to which a perpetually young and handsome husband comes home to a perpetually young and [beautiful] wife. When the hollyhocks wither and boredom and bills appear the divorce courts are jammed. …
“Anyone who imagines that bliss [in marriage] is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.
“[The fact is] most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. …
“Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.
“The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride” (“Big Rock Candy Mountains,” Deseret News, 12 June 1973, A4).

I am thankful to the Lord for letting me have the ride!

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

In or Out-Laws?

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When I first got married, I thought I would marry into this LDS family that just loved being together, unlike my crazy non-member family! Much to my surprise, families all have issues-no matter what religion they are!

I went into marriage thinking "I don't want my mother-in-law on my doorstep everyday telling me what to do..." Well, she wasn't. In fact, she hardly ever called or came over, which made me mad, too!

(Darned if you do, and darned if you don't!!)

Even though I have been frustrated with my mother-in-law at times, she really has been an amazing person. In 39 years of marriage, I have never seen her mad! Never-Ever! I mean, she gets riled up when someone hurts someone in her family, but as far as being in her home, I have never seen her ticked off! I wish my kids could say that! My friend told me that she was watching a video about President Nelson, and someone who had know him over 50 years said that they had NEVER seen him mad about anything! (I wish I could say I have not been mad in the last 50 minutes!! J/K)

My mother-in-law is just like that, as is my father-in-law. They are both just kind and loving people. I will say that I have probably had the most feelings about my mother-in-law because she was never willing to help me with my kids. She did her daughters, but not me. She apologized to me once a couple of years ago, for not being there for me when I needed her, but I told her, "I was fine. I had great friends who became my family and helped me." Family is not always blood.

"'If you are in an estranged relationship as a child-in-law or a parent-in-law, forgiveness may be necessary before you can do some of the things mentioned in the chapter. Forgiveness means that you let go of consuming feelings of animosity, bitterness and hatred.' Improved relationships will require time, effort, patience, and a willingness to communicate about issues and past offenses with love and concern. Some things may not be resolved in this life. Trusting in Christ and His timetable will help each prepare to do all they can to mend troubled relationships." (Harper, 333)

My father passed away when I was 15, so my father-in-law has become my dad here on earth. We really related to each other. He told me once, "You and I are like finely tuned race horses, we are high strung and raring to go." I'm not sure if that was a compliment or not. Anyway, I have lucked out when it came to my in-laws.

One of the young married girls in our ward said to me: "We all took a survey and voted that if we could choose, you would be the person we would want for our mother-in-law!"

Now that I am an "In-law", I have learned first hand how challenging it can be. I think that there are certain emotions and feelings that are directed towards in-laws from spouses that marry into your family. Whether they are real or imagined, they are there. Maybe a son-in-law doesn't feel like he has supported your daughter as well as what she grew up with, and he feels criticized about it. (imagined) Maybe a daughter-in-law thinks you are overstepping your bounds when you help by unloading the dishwasher. (imagined) Maybe your own children are hyper-sensitive to issues to which you are not aware. (real) Some days, you are just going to be the "out-law" in your family!

One thing that I have learned, is that there are always going to be feelings. We had an experience with one of our children and I was so upset about it. My husband said, "Get used to it! Once we get this resolved, something else will happen!" I think this is were I really admire my in-laws. They never got involved in our marriage. They never overstepped their bounds. They never reacted if someone was mad at them, they just kept loving them. Even when their daughter's husband left her, they still reached out to him in love and support. They love and live the gospel.

That is what I want to learn from them. They have been good to me and I have appreciated what they had done. They have raised a wonderful son and he has many of their amazing qualities.